Dan's Review: Spring Breakers

Rated R for strong sexual content, language, nudity, drug use and violence throughout.

Starring James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, Gucci Mane.

Written and Directed by Harmony Korine.

GRADE: zero stars

GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: Negative 10 Moronis  out of four (-**********) This film is full of so much evil, it may be responsible for ushering in the Apocalypse. It's almost as if Satan himself produced the movie - except that might be giving Harmony Korine too much credit. He's obviously not as clever as Satan. Spring Breakers a modern depiction of Sodom and Gomorrah, except with less intelligent dialogue. Spring Breakers may also be the antonym for the 13th Article of Faith. There is nothing honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy to find in this movie, and if you seek after such things, look elsewhere.

For many college students, Spring Break is a rite of passage; a time for indulging in all kinds of debauchery and blowing off a little steam. For writer/director Harmony Korine, the annual twenty-something mecca to tropical beaches was the inspiration for Spring Breakers, the story of four college girls on a crime spree during Spring Break.

At this point in most of my reviews, I usually provide a plot synopsis – but since Spring B reakers doesn't really have a plot, I will digress and keep it brief. Suffice to say the movie is about four college girls who rob a fried chicken stand to obtain the cash they need to travel to Florida. The quartet consists of Cotty (Harmony's wife Rachel Korine), Brit (Ashley Benson), Candy (Vanessa Hudgens), and Faith (Selena Gomez). After robbing the chicken stand, the girls go to Florida and party down until they end up in jail. A rapper/drug lord named Alien (James Franco) bails the girls out and recruits them as his new posse. Faith (being the innocent Christian of the group) denies Alien's request and heads back to school. The other girls jump into Alien's world, leading them into conflict with a rival drug lord (Gucci Mane). That's pretty much it, and I really don't care if anyone sees this as a spoiler.

Spring Breakers is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time, and that's saying something. I suppose Korine was going for some kind of satire in the film, but even if the bad acting, inane, repetitive dialogue and overindulgent tableau were intentional, all we are left with is an extremely awful movie.


I also suppose that the casting of two iconic Disney “princesses” (Gomez and Hudgens) in a film full of sex, nudity, binge drinking, heavy drug use, gun play and violence was also meant to inspire shock and awe, but it's less ironic than it is uncomfortable and disgusting. Gomez avoids any nudity or sex, but Hudgens jumps into all kinds of sordid behavior – a far cry from her role in the High School Musical series. Their performances are nothing more than awful caricatures, pretending to be the worst of people they could imagine, while using ridiculous southern accents.

Equally dreadful is Franco, who seems to be impersonating every stereotypical white guy who tries to be an urban black thug, right down to his cornrow hairstyle. Perhaps it's just another failed attempt at satire, but Franco's performance is more annoying than comical. Speaking of annoying things, one of the most irritating audio devices used by Korine is the continual use of a loud gun cocking sound that rings out in every scene transition. By the end of the film, you just hope the characters will use guns on themselves and put the audience out of their misery.

So even if you're tempted by some sort of perverted compulsion to see how far Disney princesses will go, do yourself a favor and stay away from Spring Breakers at all costs. This terrible movie isn't worth your time.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - Movie review Spring Breakers is no party

Dan's Review: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Rated  PG-13 for sexual content, dangerous stunts, a drug-related incident and language.

Starring Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Jim Carrey, James Gandolfini, Alan Arkin, Jay Mohr, Michael Herbig, Mason Cook, Luke Vanek, Zachary Gordon.

Written by Jonathan M. Goldstein, John Francis Daley, Chad Kultgen and Tyler Mitchell.

Directed by Don Scardino.GRADE: ** (two out of four stars)

GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: ** (two Moronis our of four) The story of Burt Wonderstone is one of redemption and humility, but any good thing you might learn from the movie is embedded in a lot of stupid behavior and lack of morality.

Conventional wisdom suggests there's no such thing as magic. Nevertheless, select people are able to make a decent living as magicians, mostly in Las Vegas. Their success is contingent upon creating illusions via sleight of hand, diversion and technological developments. Such individuals are the subject of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, starring Steve Carell as a magician in need of a little humility.

Carell plays Burt, a man who learned to love the art of performing magic while being picked on by bullies as a child. The young Burt meets with Anton (Steve Buscemi) and the two boys form a bond that takes them into adulthood as a famous Vegas casino headline act. Over the years, the two men who learned to love magic as children have become jaded celebrities with an act that has become redundant and stale. The duo has also managed to go through countless assistants (all named “Nicole”) until they end up with Jane (Olivia Wilde), a stagehand who has aspirations of becoming a magician herself.
 As the Burt and Anton show begins to show signs of obvious decline, a “shock” magician (think: Chris Angel) street performer named Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) ascends to fame via the Internet. The combination of Steve “The Mind Rapist” Gray's act, their stale act and their failed friendship, Burt and Anton's act is canceled by casino owner Doug Munny (James Gandofini). Anton goes his separate way while Burt tries to find work in Vegas. Unable to succeed without Anton, Burt becomes destitute, ending up living in a motel and finding works as a magic performer in a retirement home for elderly Vegas acts. In the retirement home, Burt meets Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin), the man who inspired him to become a magician when Burt was a boy. Rance helps Burt realize what a creep he's been and helps him rediscover his passion for magic.
When the opportunity to headline Munny's newest casino comes along, Burt reunites with Anton and Jane to compete with Gray for another chance at stardom.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone has its moments as a comedy, but it's a bad thing when the star of the film plays the least funny character. Carell's performance is uncomfortable and a little too creepy to pull off a magical farce. A close second in the “most uncomfortable” performance contest is Jim Carrey, whose antics seem out-of-place and as always, over-the-top. The only person whose performance doesn't evoke wincing is Arkin, who steals every scene he's in. Olivia Wilde is as lovely as ever, but seems miscast as a wide-eyed magician-in-waiting.

Some of the gags work, but most of the humor in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is sub-par, leaving audiences with a less-than-magical feeling.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - The Incredible Burt Wonderstone not so magical

Dan's Review: Oz The Great and Poweful

Rated PG for sequences of action and scary images, and brief mild language.

Starring James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, Zach Braff, Bill Cobbs, Joey King, Tony Cox, Stephen R. Hart, Abigail Spencer, Bruce Campbell.

Written by Mitchell Kapner and David Lindsay-Abaire, based on characters created by L. Frank Baum.

Directed by Sam Raimi.

GRADE: *** (three our of four stars)


GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: (Three out of four Moronis)  The prequel to the Wizard of Oz tells the story of a scam artist trying to become a better man while using his talents to help save the innocent people of Oz from evil witches. There are plenty of gospel truths in the movie, including repentance, redemption selfless sacrifice - and the tried and true conflict between good and evil.

REVIEW:
Back stories are often used by writers and other creative people to set up a great story. With the dearth of creative content available to big movie studios, those back stories are now prime targets for “prequels.” Such attempts to go back in time have been met with a plenty of criticism (Star Wars), some box office failure (The Thing) and plenty of success (X-Men). One of the reasons prequels are both successful and dreadful is perhaps the gnawing reminder that the principle characters are going to be okay, since you know they are going to turn up in the original story. The Wizard of Oz is the latest classic film to get a prequel in Oz The Great and Powerful.

James Franco plays Oscar “Oz” Diggs, a small-time circus magician and huckster who is caught up in a tornado and transported to the Land of Oz (suspiciously named after himself), where he encounters a witch named Theodora (Mila Kunis). Using his magic tricks, anyone who encounters Oz thinks he is a wizard, including Theodora.

The pair fall in love, but their relationship takes a turn for the worse when Theodora's evil sister Evanora (Rachel Weisz) tricks Oz into chasing after a third sister Glinda (Michelle Williams). Believing that Glinda is a “bad” witch, Oz takes off on a journey into the Dark Forest, along with Finley (voiced by Zach Braff), a flying monkey who owes him a life debt. Before meeting up with Glinda, Oz and Finley pick up a tag-along china doll (voiced by Joey King) whose entire village has been ransacked by evil flying baboons.

When Oz meets Glinda, he discovers she is not evil, but that Evanora has been playing him to destroy her and gain power over the entire kingdom. Evanora also tricks Theodora into partaking of a magic apple that enhances her own evil tendencies, while turning her skin green and changing her wardrobe into a more traditional “witchy” costume, (complete with pointed hat and accessorized by a flying broom).

As Oz learns of Evanora's evil plans, he also discovers the people of Oz, including a community of tinkers and seamstresses, along with their neighboring Munchkins. Oz must decide whether to come clean and admit that he is not a wizard, or use his intellect and cunning to defeat Evanora and Theodora.

Oz the Great and Powerful is a visually compelling film with a lot of humor and sentiment that compliments the original 1939 classic. That said, there are a few things that don't add up, including a missing pair of ruby slippers (due to a copyright restriction from MGM), and characters you know will live on, but don't seem like the same familiar roles from the original (Glinda's particular sing-songy voice is not really detectable in Williams' performance). There are other liberties taken by Sam Raimi and Disney in the Oz prequel, but not enough to make the film too distracting. Franco, Kunis, Williams and Weisz are more than adequate in their roles, but two new characters who steal most scenes happen to be computer animated (Finley and China Doll).

Despite possessing some of the familiar pitfalls of other prequels, Oz the Great and Powerful is a fine family treat that can be enjoyed by people who love The Wizard of Oz, - but don't take it too seriously.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - Oz the Great and Powerful has heart

 

Dan's Review: Dead Man Down

 Rated R for violence, language throughout and a scene of sexuality.

Starring Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace, Terrence Howard, Dominic Cooper, Isabelle Huppert, Luis Da Silva Jr., Stu Bennett, Franky G, Declan Mulvey, John Cenatiempo, Roy James Wilson.

Written by J.H. Wyman.

Directed by Niels Arden Oplev.

GRADE: **&1/2 stars (out of four) 

GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: Zero Moronis (out of four) Since Dead Man Down is the story of a mobster seeking revenge against his mobster boss and the pact he makes to help a scarred woman get her own vengeance against a drunk driver, there really isn't a lot of gospel doctrine to be gleaned from the movie.

REVIEW:

The mobster/crime drama movie genre used to be dominated by the likes of Scorcese, Copola, DeNiro, Pachino and other usual suspects. These days, those famed mobster movie staples have grown a little long in the tooth, leaving such cinematic attempts to younger filmmakers. Niels Arden Oplev, the man who directed the Swedish version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo comes to America for his first try at mobster drama in Dead Man Down.

Collin Farrell stars as Victor, a rising gangland player who has achieved right-hand man status to a New York crime lord. Victor has infiltrated the mob to get revenge on the men who killed his family a few years before. The gang who killed Victor's family is led by the ruthless Alphonse (Terrence Howard), who is at war with a rival gang.

As Victor plots his revenge, he notices Beatrice (Noomi Rapace) a beautiful, yet scarred woman from the window of his high-rise apartment. The two eventually meet and go out on a date when Beatrice reveals that she has seen some of his deeds from her window and threatens to turn him into police unless he agrees to take out revenge on the drunk driver responsible for scarring her face.

Victor hedges, but eventually agrees to help Beatrice get her revenge. As the pair get closer to getting their vengeance, they each become vulnerable to the evil forces that elude them.

Dead Man Down has some moments of drama and tension, but nothing particularly memorable when compared to some of the more classic mobster films. Farrell and Rapace show their acting skills, but seem like they are occasionally sleepwalking through a film that gets a little slow in the middle. Dead Man Down's plot is interesting, if not a little implausible, with all kinds of narrow escapes and convenient coincidences.

Dead Man Down is sometimes clever, but in the end, it's not much more than your typical mob movie.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - Dead Man Down needs a pulse

Dan's Review: Jack The Giant Slayer

Rated PG-13 for intense scenes of fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief language.

Starring Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane , Bill Nighy (voice), John Kassir (voice), Ewan McGregor, Eddie Marsan.

Written by Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie, Dan Studney, David Dobkin.

Directed by Bryan Singer.

GRADE: *** (three out of four stars)

GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: *** (three Moronis) There isn't anything overly profound in terms of gospel doctrine in Jack The Giant Slayer, but it is a relatively benign (yet epic) retelling of a familiar fairy tale, complete with acts of herosim and the your garden variety struggle between good and evil. It's a good family film, but some of the violence might be too intense for kids under 10.

REVIEW:

I have long lamented the lack of imaginative, original ideas coming out of mainstream Hollywood over the past few decades. It seems movie executives are content on keeping the money machine going by rehashing the same old stories (i.e. sequels), remakes and film versions of TV series. It won't be long before supply of all the decent comic books and graphic novels runs dry, and even the best of the good comic book movies are already getting remakes. The lack of original material has led to the recent phenomenon of tapping into fairy tales as source material for epic-looking movies (Snow White and the Huntsman, Mirror Mirror, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters). The latest fairy tale to get the big budget treatment is Jack and the Beanstalk, a.k.a. Jack The Giant Slayer.

Nicholas Hoult stars as Jack, a poor orphan living on his uncle's farm in Cloister, a kingdom ruled by King Brahmwell (Ian McShane). Living in poverty, Jack is assigned the task of selling the farm's only horse in the capitol city. During his visit to pawn off the horse, Jack runs into a monk who is on the run from the king's advisor Roderick (Stanley Tucci), who is trying to collect some magic beans from him (for evil purposes). Jack ends up with the beans and sets off for home, where is uncle is not pleased with the trade.

Meanwhile, the king's daughter Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) longs adventure outside the castle and away from her overprotective father. She sets out one night on horseback during a torrential rainstorm, and eventually ends up at Jack's farm, looking for shelter. One of the beans slips through a crack in the floor and is eventually moistened by the rain, spawning the growth of a huge beanstalk. The beanstalk carries the entire house away with Isabelle inside, as Jack falls to the ground. When Roderick, the King and his army show up looking for Isabelle, the king assigns his most trustworthy knight Elmont (Ewan McGregor) to take a small group of soldiers and shimmy up the beanstalk to rescue the princess. Roderick and Jack tag along, but only a few of the soldiers (including Elmont), Jack and Roderick make it to the top. Once there, the men encounter several giants, who kill off most of the party. Jack manages to slip away, rescuing Elmont and the princess, but not before discovering that Roderick possesses a magic crown that empowers him to rule over the giants. Roderick's plan is to use the giants to overthrow Cloister and move toward eventual world domination.

As Jack escapes with Isabelle, Elmont stays behind, planning to kill Roderick and recover the crown. When Jack and Isabelle head down the beanstalk, they discover that the king has learned of the giant threat and has ordered the beanstalk chopped down, an event which happens just as Jack and Isabelle get close enough to the bottom to have a safe landing.

Meanwhile at the top of the beanstalk, Elmont isn't quite successful at obtaining the magic crown, as an army of giants led by the ruthless two-headed giant General Fallon (one head is voiced by John Kassir, the other by Bill Nighy) gathers to crush the humans. The general discovers the crown, along with the rest of Jack's beans (that he dropped at the top of the beanstalk). He uses one of the beans to grow another beanstalk that will provide a path for the giant army to reach Cloister.

As the giant army rushes down the new beanstalk, Elmont also slips past them and helps prepare the Cloister castle for the giant invasion. A “giant” battle (pun intended) ensues and all seems lost unless Jack can get the crown away from General Fallon and turn the tide in favor of the “little people.”

Jack The Giant Slayer isn't a bad fantasy adventure, despite the liberties taken with such a well-known and beloved fairy tale. The action keeps the story moving along well enough, while talented thespians like McShane, Tucci and especially McGregor provide  adequate performances to give the film a little star-quality gravitas.

There are plenty of moments in Jack The Giant Slayer that seem a little over-the-top and silly, but the “giant” special effects and the scope of the production design give the film an epic quality, despite a little disappointment during the climactic battle.

One caution I have for parents who may think that Jack The Giant Slayer is appropriate for small children who are familiar with the fairy tale. Jack The Giant Slayer gets a well-deserved PG-13 rating – just barely. There are scenes of death in the movie, and even though director Bryan Singer (X-Men, X2) holds back on the graphic gore, it isn't hard to figure out that giants are eating some of the characters in an unpleasant fashion. I wouldn't recommend Jack The Giant Slayer for any children under 10 years old.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - Jack The Giant Slayer is full of magic beans

Dan's Review: 21 And Over

Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, some graphic nudity, drugs and drinking (LOTS of drinking).

Starring Miles Teller, Skylar Astin, Justin Chon, Sarah Wright, Jonathan Keltz, François Chau, Russell Hodgkinson, Daniel Booko.

Written and Directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore.

GRADE:  * (one out of four stars)


GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: (0) Zero Moronis:  Okay, it's a movie about a bunch of college students getting drunk and trying to hook up - which might be a modern case study on Sodom and Gomorrah. Stick to the scriptures on that one, because 21 And Over offers no good outcomes other that the idea that friendship is important, bu only slightly more important than pickling your liver.

REVIEW:

Ah, college. For many, those years conjure memories of opening one's mind to vast amounts of knowledge and studies, while others can't remember much, due to the consumption of vast amounts of alcohol and drugs. 21 And Over is a movie about the latter, brought to us by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, the guys who wrote The Hangover and The Hangover II.

The story begins as Miller (Miles Teller) travels to a northwest college town, where he meets his old high school buddy Casey (Skylar Astin) at the bus station. Miller's plan is to get Casey together to surprise a third high school pal Jeff (Justin Chon), a premed student, and take him out for a night of debauchery on his 21st birthday. Jeff's mean, overbearing father Dr. Chang (Francois Chau) happens to be visiting his son as Miller and Casey arrive, and he warns the young men not to take Jeff out drinking because he has set up an interview with a prominent medical school early the next morning.

Of course, the three party-boys ignore Dr. Chang's warnings and take Jeff out for an all night bender, which leads the trio into all sorts of sordid adventures. Among the encounters experienced by the boys are a run-in with the campus bully, being hunted by a band of angry Hispanic sorority sisters, a violent pep rally involving a rampaging buffalo and a frat house drinking gauntlet. Casey even has time to fall in love with the lovely Nicole (Sarah Wright), one of Jeff's classmates.

Before the night is over, the boys must endure the wrath of the Hispanic sorority sisters, Jeff's dad, Nicole's jerk boyfriend and campus police.

Despite a few laughs, 21 And Over is as forgettable as most drunken binges (or so I hear). There isn't much to see that we haven't already seen from any of the other movies from Lucas and Moore, like The Hangover series. 21 And Over is nothing more that another lame attempt to prove that drinking and being plastered is funny, especially when thrown in with all kinds of pranks, sex, nudity and coarse language. I have grown tired of filmmakers who think that because some raunchy movies are funny (like The first Hangover), the key to success is to add more and more crass material to get even more laughs. What we end up with a whole lot of crap on screen about a subject (college binge drinking) that really shouldn't be funny. I am familiar with a a few local stories of alcohol poisoning deaths in university settings that prove this point, and films like 21 And Over only serve to gloss over such dangerous behavior.

Please watch 21 And Over responsibly.

Better yet, it's probably more responsible to avoid it altogether.

You'll thank me in the morning.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - 21 And Over binges on stupidity

Dan's Review: Snitch

Rated PG-13 for drug content and sequences of violence.

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Jon Bernthal, Michael Kenneth, Melina Kanakaredes, Nadine Velazquez, Rafi Gavron, David Harbour, Benjamin Bratt, Susan Sarandon.

Written by Justin Haythe and Ric Roman Waugh.
Directed by Ric Roman Waugh.
GRADE:**&1/2 stars out of four

GOSPEL-DOCTRINE-O-METER: ** (two Moronis out of four) Snitch offers a little taste of the the same principles behind the Prodigal Son story, along with plenty of unconditional love and sacrifice. The only problem is most of those principles are mixed in with a lot of violence in an illegal drug business setting.


How far would a father go to save his son from being wrongfully imprisoned? That's the basic premise of Snitch, starring Dwayne (no-longer-”The Rock”) Johnson.

Johnson portrays John Matthews, a successful trucking/construction company owner whose estranged son Jason (Rafi Gavron) is caught up in a DEA drug sting, set up by a friend who lied to the feds about his involvement in trafficking in order to cut a deal. When John finds out the feds are promoting “snitching” as a viable means to curb drug traffic, he meets with the U.S. attorney Joanne Keeghan (Susan Sarandon) to plead for his son, who is getting beat up on a regular basis in a federal prison. John cuts a deal with Keeghan to use his business acumen to bring in “bigger fish” drug dealers in order to secure his son's release.

John seeks help from Daniel (Jon Bernthal), one of his employees and an ex-con who served five years for drug trafficking. Daniel is reluctant to get involved, since he is trying to get his life in order, but eventually arranges a meeting between John and Malik (Michael Kenneth Williams), a low-end dealer. John is employed by Malik to use one of his semi trucks to travel to El Paso, Texas and pick up a few kilos of cocaine. John complies, while the feds track his movement to and from the pick-up, where members of a Mexican drug cartel await to load the drugs into John's truck. During the transaction, a band of gunmen from a rival cartel attack. John and Daniel escape, and in so doing help save the original cartel. John's heroic actions impress the cartel's leader Juan Carlos 'El Topo' Pintera (Benjamin Bratt), who hopes to use John's trucks for future exchanges.

Upon his return home, John expects the feds to pick up Malik and the deal will be done, but lead DEA agent Cooper (Barry Pepper) decides he'd rather go after 'El Topo' instead, letting Malik go. John is infuriated with Cooper and Keeghan, but agrees to make one more run transporting hundreds of millions in El Topo's cash back to the border so agents can nab the cartel leader instead.

During the daring cash run, John is betrayed as a government informant, and he must fight the cartel on his own.

Snitch is not a terrible movie, and can be entertaining at times. That said, the movie is mostly caught up in a lot of melodramatic dialogue and low-end action. Snitch might have been better as an episode in an hour-long TV series instead of a full-length theatrical release. While the federal government's war on drugs is interesting, there really isn't much in Snitch that we haven't seen already, much like several episodes of Miami Vice.

As for Dwayne Johnson, he's getting better as an actor, even though his huge frame still eats up most of Snitch's scenes. I suppose he's destined to be an action hero for the rest of his days, but it's good to know he has a little acting range.

Snitch's producers claim the story to be “inspired by true events” (which is usually code for “we made up most of this”). While I'm sure many dads would go undercover for the DEA to save their sons, I'm also pretty sure they wouldn't go as far John does in Snitch, so take that “inspired by” with a grain of salt.

Read more: The Davis Clipper - Snitch a ho hum action thriller